Diamonds to You

Happy Thanksgiving:

I just learned that the effects of Tryptophan are greatly enhanced by all the carbohydrates we eat at our typical Thanksgiving dinners.  Turkey alone doesn’t do enough to make us sleepy.

Global Warming – More than one point of view

While most people will agree that we are going through a period of global warming, there is disagreement as to causes and solutions.  Al Gore is a proponent of the most popular point of view, and his presentation is quite impressive.  However, when I saw him recently at Flint Center, I became aware that the presentation was all about warming – with gorgeous slides – but there was little in the way of evidence as to the cause.

If you are interested, as many people I met recently at the American Dream Conference were, about other points of view, you might consider viewing:  The Great Global Warming Swindle which people tell me can be found at either www.climatedvd.com or www.icecap.org.

Don’t automatically take the advice of an attorney.

This is not meant as an attorney bashing article.  I love attorneys – indeed was in love with one for many years – and worked extensively with many other honorable, intelligent and decent attorneys.  BUT – lately clients of mine have shared the problems that developed after they took the advice of their attorneys.

So, I want to remind you that attorneys know the law. Take their legal advice.  However, they do not necessarily know business strategy, employee relations, interpersonal relationships, conflict resolution, or even how to conduct investigations neutrally.  Here are a few examples:

• When an employee threatened to sue his employer for being insulted by a performance appraisal, the lawyer suggested they settle and pay the man off.  Fortunately, my client called me.  I discussed the matter with them and suggested they actually meet with the disgruntled and hurt employee and explain why they said what they said.  Furthermore, I stated that I felt a lot of false claims are encouraged because attorneys typically suggest settling, instead of defending when they are in the right.  In this case, the manager and the employee met, misunderstandings were cleared up by the communication and the employee returned to work, newly motivated to improve his performance.

• A business owner lost her business and her reputation because an attorney suggested she stop paying on a business debt, forcing the lender to go against two other partners.  The problem was that the first woman was seen as the “deep pockets” and the loan was in three names, including hers.  She, and only she, was sued.

• Recently in Silicon Valley, three executives lost their jobs – or at least were threatened to lose them – because of complaints of allowing and./or creating a “hostile work environment.”  It was attorneys who were paid to conduct the investigations, and I fear they were not neutral.  When the average attorney takes a case, he or she looks for the theory of the case that will best support their client’s position.  Few have been trained in conducting absolutely neutral investigations.

• A CEO, having problems with his second in command, discussed the matter with is attorney.  He was advised to put the VP on probation demanding higher performance standards.  This was instead of a friendly conversation about needs and goals.  It angered the VP so much that he too went to his attorney and the two are now in hostile demanding roles vis-a-vie each other.

• When there is a dispute between two people, attorneys from both sides suggest stonewalling.  This causes the other side to get angrier and escalate and before you know it both sides have taken extreme and polarizing positions.

Most attorneys are conservative in the protection of their clients and their advice is geared accordingly.  But, that’s not always the best solution.  Sometimes, not settling but fighting back when wrongly accused stops a problem from escalating.  Sometimes, telling the truth and being conciliatory solves an interpersonal problem.  Sometimes swallowing your pride and paying the price saves you lots of future trouble.  Sometimes disagreements should be handled calmly and respectfully.  Don’t you agree?

Hostile Work Environment

Have you noticed that the complaints are that an incident created a hostile work environment?  In one case, that I read in the newspaper, someone accidentally left some pornographic material on a laptop he loaned a female employee. 

I want to remind you that the meaning of a hostile work environment is one in which reasonable people (women, or members of other protected groups) are made uncomfortable over and over again.  It is the cumulative effect of nastiness that creates a hostile environment, not one or two isolated incidents, or even several incidents over many years time.

Why are we accepting that one incident is all it takes to destroy reputations, jobs, and even the health of the companies involved?

Women in the Workplace and Networking

In a recent Wall St. Journal article the headline read:  “Women Get Better At Forming Networks To Help Their Climb.”  Finally, after years of slam bam leads groups that go nowhere, women are learning something men have known for years – you create long term relationships and you help your fellow-woman.

It’s men who created organizations like Rotary, Kiwanis, Lions, etc.  These organizations meet regularly and serve their communities charitably.  It is through the long-term relationships of participating in productive and helpful programs that they learn about each others strengths and abilities.  I’ve written elsewhere about the importance of volunteering and won’t repeat it here.

Yes, of course, women participate in these types of organizations as well.  My mother (and later I) belonged to B;nai Brith Women and we always were involved in helping others.  Women are the primary contributors of their time and energy to most of the charitable organizations, like American Cancer, Heart Association, etc.

BUT, too many women join networking organizations thinking that throwing their business cards in the middle of the room (like keys in the seventies?) will yield them positive business relationships.

The article, written by Carol Hymowitz,  goes on to say that women in upper management have stopped  thinking of themselves as “Queen Bees” and are now reaching out to encourage and mentor those climbing the ladder after them.

She says:  “Because the demand across industries for female talent is strong, and because of the experience, women have gained climbing the ranks, they are beginning to set their own rules.  They seek work styles that make it possible for them to balance careers and families.”

I love this quote because now, finally, we, as women, are taking the lead in getting what we need in life – balance. 

Years ago, when I conducted a series of workshops for women who called themselves survivors of the huge company in which they were working, I heard stories of how they were forced to work 10 & 12 hour days and were condemned if they needed to take any time off for personal business or even dating.

On the other hand, the San Jose Mercury News recently had an article headlined:  “Women likely to remain rare in boardrooms” and on the second page of the article:  “Women Progress likely to be slow on boards of directors.”  The article states that we make up just under 20% of the members of Silicon Valleys top 10 companies.

So, “we’ve come a long way baby”, but we still have a long way to go.

I’d love the opportunity to serve on a corporate board (I serve and have served on many non-profit and association boards).  All the books on the subject of board development (including my own) stress the importance of including members who have “soft skills” – my skill set. 

Better – Better – Best Teams

I am so tired of hearing that there is no “I” in team.  Of course there is – we are all a bunch of “I’s who come together to cooperate and join forces to accomplish common goals.

If everyone has to be the same, we create mediocrity.  If everyone has to agree all the time, we create boring and sometimes erroneous compromise decisions.  If everyone has to always smile, we don’t deal honestly with issues as they develop.  Instead, issues get buried until they become big problems and explode in the faces of the team members.

Great teams have a vision and mission.  They develop – or are given – their goals and objectives.  Each member of the team might have a different responsibility, or perhaps several could be sharing similar responsibilities..

High performance teams have a deep sense of commitment to the problems they are trying to solve and to each other.  Each member helps the others achieve both their personal and professional goals .

Complicated issues require professional facilitation.  Not everyone makes a good facilitator.  The process by which the team operates is primarily the responsibility of the facilitator.  Bad facilitators (and I’ve seen many) seem stuck on a child-like notion of “fairness”, which means everyone gets to talk an equal amount of time, whether they have more or less valuable input to give their team members.

Great teams include strong egos – but these strong egos come together in the service of the goals they are trying to achieve.

Playing “Queen Bee” and making sure that you get your own way or else having a tantrum and leaving the playing field (the meeting room) is not the same as having a strong ego and a commitment to your fellow team members.  Being a bully and monopolizing a meeting is not geared to problem-solving either.

Team members, no matter how bright or strong the individuals are,  join forces for a common goal and work amiably together to meet that goal.  If there is disagreement – or even conflict – the members discuss their differences and work through what ever negative emotions they might have developed towards each other. 

Don’t be afraid of powerful people.  They are often the most considerate and gentle.

I really thrive on your referrals to me.  Keep them coming!

My Blog

www.DiamondAssociates.net/blog - Visit ME!

Prior Newsletters

Other articles in prior newsletters can be found here:
 http://diamondassociates.net/articles/Newsletters.shtml

Recent Publications

Several more of my articles have been published in dozens of e-magazines and newsletters.  These articles are being published so frequently that I can’t list all of the references.  Instead, I suggest you Google:  ArLyne Diamond.

Here are some though:

• Cultural Differences in Group Decisions, in Outsourcing, October-November, 2007

• Change Management Strategies, in Outsourcing, August-September, 2007.

• Board Service is an Honor, Echo Journal, August 2007

• Real World Solutions: Hiding Disability Facts Leads To Misunderstandings, in Thompson’s ADA Compliance Guide, August 2007, Col. 18, #8.
• Team Buidling Strategies, in Outsourcing, WORDlabs MEDIA, Kuala Lumpur., June-July 2007.
  
  
• Building Trust in Distant Teams, in Management Issues Feb. 20, 2007.

• Workplace Conflict Resolution:  What’s Creating Workplace Conflict and 9 Easy Ways to Resolve it appeared in Impact Articles:  The Business and Coaching Network on January 26, 2007   With my permission, this article will also appear in a series of newsletters created and marketed by Haley Marketing Group to their staffing industry clients.

My two published books are available at www.ProductivePublications.com.

• Training Your Board of Directors:
  A Manual for the CEOs, Board Members, Administrators and Executives of Corporations, Associations, Non-Profit and Religious Organizations
• The “Please” and “Thank You” of Fundraising for Non-Profits:
  Fifteen Essential Ingredients for Success

So, how can I help you?

Your columns were quite interesting and I agree with just
about every thing you say….Some of your underlying philosophy
of management reminds me of Robert Townsend’s Up The Organization
… probably the best book on business and management I’ve read.
David J. Estrin, Senior Editor, Garland Publishing, Inc.

“You are a bold and skilled pro.  I have enjoyed ‘Diamonds  to You’.  It is refreshing that you speak crisply on topics of political sensitivity without giving up your integrity.  Thanks.  Tom Incorvia.”

Successful process and organizational improvements require strong facilitation
and interpersonal skills.  ArLyne has the ability to listen, manage conflict
and get to the bottom line.  …resulted in positive and tangible changes to
existing processes and organization [as well as] community participation.
Connie Martinez, Vice-President Joint Venture Silicon Valley

 

Let me be your Aufin—your advisor to Kings.

 

ArLyne Diamond, Ph.D
ArLyne@DiamondAssociates.net