Diamonds to You

Thank you so much for your response to our first issue of Diamonds to You. Some people remembered my old newsletter, The Wise Old Owl’s Workplace Wanderings, and asked me why we changed the name. The answer, silly as it might sound, is that too many people reading Owl and enjoying it, didn’t realize that it consisted of articles written by me. So, this time round, I’m going to be more direct. Diamonds to You is from me to you.

If you wish a copy of the first issue of the newsletter, please email me and I’ll be happy to forward it to you. If I can answer any of your professional development, management, or other workplace questions, please be sure to ask and I will answer as many of your questions as possible in future issues of the newsletter.

Recent Publications

• I’m pleased to announce that my second book, The “Please” and “Thank You” of Fundraising for Non-profits, is now available.
• You can also purchase my other book, Training Your Board of Directors: A Manual for CEOs, Board Members, Administrators and Executives of Corporations, Associations, Non-Profits and Religious Organizations.
• “Finding Success through Succession” an article I wrote for Security Management Magazine can be found in their February 2006 issue.
• “What’s Creating All the Conflict and What Can We Do About It, Part II” is now available in the Women in Consulting (WIC) Best Practices which should be released by them this month.
• For books by Dr. Diamond please visit productivepublications.com
  “Separate Wish List Demands,” in the December 2005 issue of ADA Compliance Guide, published by Thompson Publishing (only available to subscribers of their service). This article is about how to write job descriptions that do not demand unnecessary skills, thereby ignoring potentially good clients.
• Other articles and articles in which I have been quoted recently can be found by a Google search.

Recent Workshops and Speeches

Professional Development Workshop Re-Cap
Our workshop Own Your Own Business So That It Doesn’t Own You – How to Stop Working 24 Hours A Day, was held at Tony Roma’s on Moorpark Avenue at Saratoga Avenue, just off 280. Thanks to Charlie and his assistant Amber, we were treated exceptionally well and they provided us with a lovely lunch. I highly recommend the site for your workshops and seminars.

The day consisted of lively interaction and discussions around a wide range of topics from starting a new professional career, to marketing, to using sub-contractors and motivating and managing employees. The attendees were able to help each other with both strategy and tactics and it was a day well spent.

Transformations for Success for CSIX
This was the the third time I spoke to the CSIX group and the topic this time was Transformations for Success which focused on tips for being successful in today’s competitive work environment. The topic stimulated lots of discussion and questions and answers.

On-Line Sexual Harassment
Training—My Opinion

After speaking to over a dozen people, all from different large companies, I’ve come to the conclusion that on-line sexual harassment training is almost worthless. Yes, it is cheap and plays CYA for the HR folk procuring it for their employees. But, it doesn’t each people what they really want and need to know. When I hold sexual harassment training workshops, here is what attendees want to learn.

Potential victims ask:

• How do I avoid looking like and acting like a potential victim?
• How do I defuse a starting situation?
• What are the most effective ways to report problems internally?

Managers ask:

• How can I be more aware of potential trouble?
• How should I intervene immediately when observing something?
• When, why and how do I report up the chain of command and to HR?

Employees in general ask:

• Why does something intended as a compliment get taken as an insult?
• Why do some people, especially women, feel danger when they are complimented on their appearance?
• How can we have fun—tease and be playful with each other—without causing offense or getting in trouble?
• How can we understand and respect “the line” for different cultures?

In my opinion, nothing is more powerful than face to face, highly interactive training. Please give this topic, and other personnel topics what they deserve.

Managing Meetings—
Answering Your Questions

Many of the managers with whom I work ask me about managing meetings effectively. Some of their concerns:

• When should I have a face to face meeting and when should I merely communicate via email?
• If I have a face to face meeting, how long should it be and how can I get people to come on time?
• What preparation should I give? What are some of the other considerations?
• Who should I invite besides those absolutely needed?
• Should we have a minutes/notes taker? If so, who?
• How do I get everyone in attendance to speak up when needed?
• How do I get those who try to “bully” the meeting to refrain?
• What are some of the diversity issues I need to take into consideration?

I’ve written several articles about managing meetings, some appeared in Tech Week and others in the San Jose/Silicon Valley Business Journal. You are welcome to browse for them in the archives of those publications. For now, I will try to summarize some important points. Let me start by answering some of your questions.

When should I have a face to face meeting and when should I merely communicate via email?
Email is a marvelous tool for communication and many meetings can be avoided by sending information via email and by requesting specific replies. In order to make this mode more effective:

• Be sure to ask specific questions requiring answers and give a deadline for response.
• Only send the email to those needing to participate in the conversation. You could copy others that you wish to be informed, but from whom you do not require an answer.
• Create codes so that recipients know the relative importance of the email.
• Create a group for this group and request that all responses be to all the members of the group. In that manner everyone will keep informed.
• Save controversial, emotional, or very difficult topics for your face to face meetings.

If I have a face to face meeting, how long should it be and how can I get people to come on time?
The convention is to hold hourly meetings. In my experience an hour is either way too long or way too short, depending on what you are trying to accomplish. If, for example, you are trying to inform, you might be able to do this by preparing your audience with email communications and then spending 15–20 minutes in a face to face to handle any complicated questions and concerns.

On the other hand, if you want to deal with policy, with new product ideas, with controversial or personnel issues, you might want to schedule from two hours to two days in order to allow enough time. One long meeting often saves the time of many wasted smaller ones.

Getting people to come on time is always a chore. If you are calling a meeting in your office with only those at your site, than your firm might consider a policy of ending meetings 10 minutes before the hour, or starting them at 10 minutes after the hour. What happens now, of course, is that meetings end on the hour and start on the hour and everyone is late because it takes time to get from one place to the next—often having to stop at the restroom, or at your desk.

What preparation should I give? What are some of the other considerations?
The best way to prepare is to use a checklist. In the article “Meeting Preparation” I offer many suggestions, along with information about types of meetings and how best to manage them.

Who should I invite besides those absolutely needed?
What a great question. There are those you need, those you wish would come, but aren’t necessary and those you are inviting to be politically correct. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you were brave enough to be honest about these three groups and invite them as follows: Mandatory, Preferred, At Your Pleasure. It is the second category that requires careful consideration. Why do you prefer them? What value do you expect them to give? Can they offer their information through email or someone else who is attending? Generally speaking, the fewer the people at the meeting, the more you can actually accomplish.

Should we have a minutes/notes taker? If so, who?
I personally like having someone take notes. It really helps later. These notes are also valuable as information for those who were not in attendance, but are interested in the topics. Be sure the person taking the notes is competent to do so effectively.

How do I get those who try to “bully” the meeting to refrain?
See the section below on tips for handling hecklers.

How do I get everyone in attendance to speak up when needed?
You can’t. People vary in their ability and desire to speak up publicly.

What are some of the diversity issues I need to take into consideration?
Of course many of them are the same as those answered in the question about wanting people in attendance in the meeting to speak up.

Meeting Preparation

• Decide on the type of meeting you are having and determine the room and room set up based on this decision.
• Use a check list to be sure you have handled everything necessary for the meeting.
• Let people know well in advance about the date, time, place, and proposed agenda—ask for their input to the final agenda.
• As much advance information as possible should be provided by email.
• Prepare an agenda and handouts.
• Build consensus before the meeting—not during it. (See my articles on group decision-making and problem solving, and on the diversity issues regarding making decisions in private or public.)
• Remind people a few days before the meeting and again right before it.
• Consider having a note—minutes—taker.

Checklist

• Determine the date, time, and length of time for the meeting.
• Schedule and confirm the place of the meeting and whatever additional needs you might have for the place:
  • If away, possibly recreation, accommodations, meals
  • If here, possibly breakfast, lunch, etc.
  • Room layout, lighting, equipment if needed.
• Make a list of the invited attendees and publish it to each of them.
• Create and publish an agenda with highlights and approximate time allocation.
• Give timely notice—again and again—if it is the custom in your organization, use Outlook schedule to invite people and be sure to ask for an RSVP.
• Handle comfort issues, food, heat, air-conditioning, chairs, soft drinks, coffee.
• Break facilities.
• Break out facilities, if needed.
• Tools and technical needs:
  • Table layout—or tables and chairs layout
  • Auditorium style or interactive style
  • Audio and video equipment
  • Teleconferencing equipment if necessary
  • Microphones
  • Power point presentations
  • Podium
  • Lighting
  • Flip Charts and markers and tape if necessary
  • Butcher paper
  • Pens, markers, masking tape, etc.

Types of Meetings

A: Informational—Presentation
Typically these are one way meetings. Someone is communicating information and the attendees are receiving it. This type of meeting can be auditorium style and can occur at any time of the day or night. Early morning is a good time for this type of meeting since you don’t need to have people be totally responsive and interactive.

The technology today would suggest that many of these informational meetings can be avoided by the use of email communication. Create an email group and send information to the entire group requesting that responses to your questions be copied to everyone in the group.

B: Structured Interactive Meetings
Project meetings, technical meetings, policy and procedures, new product development and launch—and others that require information, decisions, action items, and interaction fall into this grouping. The agenda is structured and the interaction is limited to the topics on the table.

Meetings of this nature work best when the attendees can meet around a conference table or a tables organized to enable people to see each other to maximize the interaction. The tasks are clear in this type of meeting and the meeting manager should keep the group focused.

Detailed agenda and handouts are helpful for this type of meeting.

C: Negotiations, Process Re-Engineering
Although highly interactive, these meetings require tightly controlled structures—those that allow for the best of the process they are designed to elicit. Create ground rules and start the process with simple items that are most likely to get agreement. This breaks the ice and starts a pattern of cooperation. Some ideas for the starting discussion might include the physical layout of the room, the time of day for future meetings, what to have for meals, when to break for meals, the size and shape of the table, etc.

Ask the group for their suggestions of easy items to start the process. After success has been build and good cooperation has been established, harder items can be opened up for discussion.

D: Highly Interactive Meetings
These are the most fun and sometimes the most difficult to manage effectively. They need to be loosely structured and given lots of time. Remember though, a loose structure is not the same as a free for all. Meetings of this nature are best managed by a highly trained and competent facilitator.

E: Conflict Resolution and other Confrontational Style Meetings
These require very strong facilitation—it is helpful if the facilitator is also a trained arbitrator and/or mediator. There should be a clearly defined set of ground rules and an agreed to desirable outcome.

Some Tips about People and Meetings

• Morning meetings are effective:
  • For morning people
  • If you want people to be passive and merely listen
  • If you want to be brief—and offer handouts.
  • If you provide the stimulation of food and coffee
  • If you ask specific questions
  • Sometimes use ice-breaker exercises
  • If necessary, have them stand up and do jumping jack.
• Controversial Meetings
  • Require a strong and competent facilitator
  • Do not have the presenter be the facilitator
  • Needs to have some content, but lots of time to really get to the root of the controversy
  • Do not fear emotion!
• Managing the Structure of the Meeting
  • Parliamentary Procedure—Robert’s Rules of Order—are only for very large and highly structured meetings. They are intended where a vote is necessary. They come from British Parliament and are not meant to be used in small meetings wh3ere interaction, creativity, brainstorming and informality is important. However, sometimes when decisions are made—using this procedure for motion making, seconding and getting the vote is helpful.
  • Brainstorming—is a specific tool often misused. It is intended to be the start of the creative process. It is not intended as a decision-making tool, but an idea generating one.
  • There are multiple techniques for structuring meetings, based on desirable interaction and outcomes.
  • There are multiple techniques for structuring meetings, based on desirable interaction and outcomes.
  • Never think “one-size fits all.”
• Handling the heckler and those that are off-point
  • Flip charts are a wonderful tool for recording information—particularly for letting people know that although you are not tending to their issue at the moment, you are taking it seriously. You jot down the topic on a separate page and tell them you’ll get back to it later. It is important to keep your promise even if you have to handle their question or concern after the formal meeting has ended. Often though, you’ll find that the topic has been handled some time late during the meeting itself. By writing it down where they can see it it honors them, alleviates their anxiety and thus defuses them.
  • Use a technique such as Bono’s Six Hats to keep feelings and facts separate and to encourage the type of discussion you require at any point during the meeting.
  • Use your agenda as a road map and to where and when different topics can be discussed.
  • Don’t be afraid to be firm—but be careful not to be too rigid—a certain amount of digression and discussion is quite helpful.
• Negotiation
  • Keep it as positive as possible
  • Always start with small issues that can be readily agreed upon
  • Be open and direct—it defuses those that are suspicious
  • Remember the purpose of what you are trying to achieve and don’t get lost in power plays just for the sake of winning your point.
  • Remember the story of the lemon: One needed the juice, the other wanted the peel.
• Team Building
  • Must be a combination of process and content.
  • Ice-breakers and other exercises must be relevant to the purpose of the meeting—this is called face-validity.
  • Pick your content carefully, you want buy-in from everyone.

So, how can I help you?

Let me again quote a client:

ArLyne is completely qualified to serve as confidant and mentor for senior, mid-level, and professionally degreed individuals. Her breadth of understanding people, conflicts, motivation, and the business cycle have rather uniquely enabled her to add insight and valuable input into many aspects of driving an organization forward in a fast-paced environment.

Let me be your Aufin—your advisor to Kings.

ArLyne Diamond, Ph.D
ArLyne@DiamondAssociates.net